You already have things you do consistently, every day, a certain way. These routines may be so routine (like the adjective) that you don’t even realize they’re there. When you get up in the morning, what’s the sequence of events that ensue? Go to the bathroom, rinse face, brush teeth, drink water? Start paying attention to the order you already have in place around you, and you’ll see that you do most things the same every day without even having to think about it.

But what if you’re wanting to form new and improved habits, or make updates to your daily existence? Well, to evolve and change your circumstances, you must upgrade the mindset you have, the emotional states you frequent, and your actions (i.e. your habits) in order to get upgraded results. We’ve all heard this in one form or another, but what Marshall Goldsmith wrote is true: “What got you here won’t get you there.” 

Why do habits matter in the first place? 

While this is not a deep exploration on habit formation (there are wonderful books and research already published for that), I’ll cover some fundamentals on how to cultivate actions that are anything but fleeting, and ultimately, lead to habits for positive change that endure. I’ll also tie that together with how habits can help you unlock a more fulfilling, purposeful, and impactful life. That’s what we all want, right?

In the dance of daily life, our habits and rhythms, whether conscious or subconscious, shape our existence. Our repeated behaviors have a profound influence on our level of fulfillment, success, and over-all well-being, or lack thereof. The good news is you can create resilient routines that stand the test of time as a central component to your personal growth. Not only does committing to positive habits benefit us on an obvious level, like when it comes to diet, exercise, sleep, mindfulness, financial stewardship, and more, but there’s more beneath the surface. 

Positive habits can lead to changes in the brain’s function. You’ve probably heard of things like neuroplasticity or “rewiring” your brain, and that’s what I’m talking about here. Regular repetition of behaviors strengthens neural pathways making it that much more likely for you to adopt and maintain new habits or even quit the ones that are less than ideal. Not to mention, you get a little feel-good dopamine hit when you accomplish the thing you were set on doing. 

Some habits are more ‘sticky’ than others. 

I’m currently reading the #1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits, written by James Clear and if you haven’t found it yet, do yourself a favor and get it. It’s sold more than 15 million copies for a reason!

In this book he talks about a phenomenon called “synaptic pruning” that happens as we age. This was fascinating to me, and also explained a lot as I witness my toddler hear a word one time and lock it in to his grey matter, or when I see how he repeats a task over and over for mastery. The idea is that as we get older, our brain “prunes away” synapses between neurons that don’t get used and builds up the connections that get used more frequently. The more you do something (whether positive or negative), the stronger and faster that wiring becomes. You may have heard me say it before, but our brains are exquisitely made for efficiency, and this is one way it accomplishes that. 

Adding New or Replacing Old Habits is HARD!

Just from knowing the above, you can see how implementing something new can be automatically challenging, and how discarding an old habit is even harder. Your brain builds a robust network of neurons to support your current behaviors, and the more you do something, the stronger and better it becomes. Old habits die hard for sure! 

But sometimes rather than having to replace one thing for another, you can take advantage of those already strong connections to build new habits. How? 

Habit Stacking.

It’s hard enough to add a new behavior to a certain time and location in your day just by itself, so pairing it with another action that’s already there is very helpful. Think back to behavior class in vet school where we learned about triggers and cues. We’re designing a bridging stimulus or obvious cue for building a new habit. So, if there’s a habit you want to establish, see where you can STACK that onto something you already do each day. 

Here’s a very simple example: I started taking a prenatal multivitamin before I got pregnant with my son. Prior to that time, my medicine and supplement intake was zero, zilch, nada, so needless to say it was hard to remember to do something I wasn’t used to doing. I decided on a best time and location to start the habit by looking at things I already did on default. We’re talking something I never missed and did on autopilot daily. In the morning when I start my day in the bathroom was perfect.

I sat the bottle of prenatals on the counter – the first place I go when I get up – beside my retainers, toothbrush, and skin care, so everything I needed was right there together. After I brushed my teeth (the routine thing I was so patterned to do), I saw the new thing (taking my vitamin) and did it too. 

Was that all it took? Wham, bam, habit stacked and locked? NO! That doesn’t mean that it was perfect from that moment on. I still forgot from time to time, but here’s the cool part: when I did forget, I realized the omission sooner than if I hadn’t stacked the new item with other things I was already doing! It was less likely to be a random thought later in the day, like that night before bed. The proximity of the inaction (me forgetting to take my vitamin) to action (me remembering to take it) was so close that I was still reinforcing myself to do it the next day. 

You can also insert new behaviors into current routines as a set up. For example, you may already have an evening routine that looks like: get home from work > change clothes > eat dinner > take a shower > brush teeth > get in bed. If you want to create the habit of reading every night, see where you can pair within that line, OR you can set yourself up by adding it beforehand so it’s already there (wake up > make bed > place book on pillow > get ready). Now, when you climb into bed each night, a book will be sitting there waiting on you. Essentially, you stacked a tiny habit (putting a book on the pillow) that provided the assist for a perhaps more difficult habit – reading a book at night. 

A Couple of Tips

1. Keep in mind, when and where you choose to insert a habit into your daily routine can make a big difference. If your mornings are always hectic with getting the kids and yourself ready and out the door, then look at the evenings instead. 
2. Like setting and aiming for any goal, habit stacking works best when the trigger or cue is highly specific and actionable. The words you use matter! Things like “do xyz more” or “get better at blank” are too vague. For example, instead of saying “I’ll go for a walk when I get home” which is too open ended, saying “after I get home, put my bag down and change clothes, I’ll grab the leash and take a walk with the dog” is better. Ambiguity gone. I know exactly when and how I’m doing it. The more detail and direction you can give your brain the better. Plus, when you’re more specific, you’ll know without a doubt that you’re hitting your mark which helps you stay accountable and motivated, and you can then use that measuring stick to level up again and again. 

A Note About Grace

By definition, habits are something that’s done over and over again, or practiced, ergo they take time.Research suggests that it takes an average of roughly 2 months for a new behavior to become automatic, so be patient and give yourself some grace when you have setbacks and miss one or more days. Instead of beating yourself up, get curious. Ask what changed in your routine to cause you to skip? What feelings or thoughts came up around that time for you? From there, you can adjust and learn how to course correct. Also, awareness and celebration of what you do accomplish is crucial to your success in this! Even if it seems so small, you best notice it and pause to give yourself a little positive reinforcement. I promise it’ll make all the difference. 

Overall, habit stacking allows you to create a set of simple rules that guide future behavior and therefore your results. We all have patterns and behaviors that have been strengthened for years, some detrimental and not so helpful, and some that are pretty powerful. So, know that you don’t have to keep the default programming if you don’t want to. You can always install an update, and you can use what’s already there as a foundation to master the next level of you.