There I was focusing hard on a speaking project for a university when the typical, mostly welcomed but sometimes incessant, interruption happened. A little fuzzy, wet (she likes to stand in her water bowl) paw reached up to my leg. The old lady yowl came next. Y’all know the one I’m talking about – the one that makes your ear drums tighten and sounds like a guttural death song. She wanted up in my lap but her little, sarcopenic legs needed some assistance, so I obliged. 

Was that enough to satisfy? Nope. She proceeded to get up on my desk to walk around my keyboard and moving hands while I typed. Then she decided to sniff some papers and the top of my tumbler (that had water in it I’d been meaning to drink since that morning). Next, she moved on to my coffee, which I caught out of my periphery and promptly moved to the other side of my desk before she could stick a paw in it or knock it over. What I didn’t consider moving was a 2-ounce candle I had burning on the corner…

I know what you’re thinking, but let me explain…

I like rituals, especially when it comes to starting my day. If you’ve heard me rant about “Habit Stacking”, you get it. So, I start my workdays usually by making my matcha, grabbing some water, laying out a pen and note pad on my desk, turning on some Spotify background music, and…lighting a candle. That environment setting has always set me up to be more productive and focused. It was surely working that day. Now, back to the cat and the candle. 

I’m in the zone and she’s ambling about on my desk. Then out of nowhere the next thing I hear and see is a sizzle plus burst of small flame to my right! In milliseconds – I mean I didn’t realize my reflexes could be this quick – I started swinging and screaming. Without any hesitation or forethought, my right hand went straight to the fire burning on my 16-year-old, domestic long-hair’s right hammy. After 3 quick swats like magic, it was out! She then casually decided it was time to get off the desk like nothing more than a verbal “shoo” had happened. Cats, amiright? I checked to make sure she was ok and wiped the ash off her coat to find no harm was done other than the hair on her right rear was an inch shorter like a bad clip job. 

As I sat there bewildered and smelling singed cat hair, I thought about the irony of how in our own ways, we had both been distracted and in our own worlds. And then I realized there’s a compound effect of unawareness – in this case, a blazing fire of feline. 

Don’t get me wrong, I know accidents happen and I also know it’s not good for human beings to maintain prolonged or excessive hypervigilance (Hi! It’s me!), but dang if that doesn’t translate to other moments in my life. Maybe you’ve been there too. 

I can recall times where in hindsight I’ve come to the realization that if I’d practiced more intentionality, the result would have been different. For example, if I had let Allie up in my lap (also on my desk) with purpose and full awareness then I would have been that much more likely to move the candle because it would’ve been a fully directed and conscious choice accompanied with proper action (i.e. removing the candle). Make sense?

So, here’s what that fiasco, brought up for me.

1. Realize that intentions and intentionality are not the same thing. 

We’ve all had the best of intentions – finally do that thing we’ve been meaning to do, say what we’ve been needing to say, help your little decrepit cat get what she wants. Your intentions are created by your thoughts, beliefs, and desires, BUT intentionality is taking those intentions and marrying them with conscious decision and aligned action. Yep, there was my gap!

2. Lack of intentionality is the easy thing.

Moment by moment we make decisions and take action. Some actions are easy to do or easy not to do, and compared to the actions that demand a lot of our thought and effort, the easy actions are the ones that can get us into trouble.

Why? Because human nature is drawn toward complacency (safety and efficiency) and default mode. Mostly a good thing, because you wouldn’t want to have to think through how to drive to work or how to do laundry when it’s the ten thousandth time you’ve done it.

Yet, it’s not helpful when you’re needing a change in circumstance or result. Whether it was Einstein who defined insanity this way or not, doing the same thing over and over again will give you the same results. Stagnation, either from lack of awareness or lack of action, is one thing that’s hard to overcome without intentionality, but trouble sometimes arises when we are in autopilot with our actions and the awareness part of the equation comes in hindsight. Case and point: cat + candle on desk = no bueno. 

So, you can see how even the purist of intentions when paired with unawareness or a lack of aligned positive action, lead us to nowhere, failure, or trouble in attaining what we want. You need both to do things with intentionality.

3. In addition to results, intentionality also reflects the amount of value we recognize in an experience.

I believe that true quality and presence requires intentionality. It’s thinking, feeling, and doing on purpose, driven by focus and directedness, and with purpose. Wait, on purpose and with purpose? Indeed. And that mega-important with purpose part (aka an underlying WHY it matters) is a post for another day, but it showcases how much you care – about your result or about someone else. 

If you’re like me and you have plenty those moments of “I knew better”, know that it’s ok. We’re not always going to get it right. We’re not always going to bring the level of intentionality we need. If that were the case, and if intentionality always lead to success, then we’d forever stay where we are because we’d never learn otherwise. Missing the mark is a great teacher – IF you’re intentional in learning the lesson. See what I did there?

Now, go do amazing things with intentionality. Oh, and if you’re going to let your cat up on your desk, be sure to move the candle. 🙂